Hypnagogia
by Iluvbeyblade
Summary: Guilt and self-loathing and the eternal 'what if' stop Max from getting to sleep, but then he finds out that Kai has a much better reason to be awake at this time of night. Set during V-Force.


Yay, it's Kai/Max! But only friendship, sorry. It might be useful to watch episode 29 of V-Force, but I've been told that this is 100% understandable without doing so. I love V-Force.

Massive thanks to Lamanth, who read this through even with an eye infection and reminded me about V-Force lacking his scarf, and to Tootchy, who after much prodding, spent over an hour at a ridiculous time at night/morning giving it a wonderful betaread. I've taken most of what you said into account, thank you, m'dear! I love you both!

Enjoy!

* * *

For the billionth time that night, Max untangled the starchy hotel sheets from his legs. Oh, he wished his brain would shut up enough to let him sleep. No such luck in that department; he'd been awake for three hours so far. He'd caught about an hour's shut-eye before waking up and staying that way.

He had fought Alan the day before, and even though they had superficially made up, it still hurt to think about the things that Alan had said and the look on his face as he had said them. The scary thing was that Max had gone through the friendship believing that Alan was better than him in everything. Yesterday he'd discovered that Alan thought the same thing about him, except with Max's success as a beyblader, he had proof. And while their friendly competition had only ever given Max motivation to do better, the fact that Max _was_ better at beyblading sent Alan into a spiral of irrational jealousy that had led to him being a criminal.

That could have been me, Max thought yet again. Max had never been that much better than Alan at 'blading; it'd all been luck. Luck that he moved to Japan, luck that he met Tyson. Pure luck that his necklace broke when he was facing Kai so he got Draciel.

He didn't like it when Alan called him a world champion. It's like he'd said to him at the time – 'I just don't think that way.' Why would he? He was on a team with Kai, the champion of Japan and technically their best 'blader, Tyson, who beat _Tala_, the World Champion, and Ray, whose Tiger Claw attack was legendary before they'd even met. What was he, compared to that? Just a little boy too weak to attack properly with parents who could amp up his 'blade to cover for that

Heavy Viper Wall. Huh. Just another gimmick.

He snapped out of his misery to realise that he needed the toilet.

"Something to do," he mumbled darkly, getting out of bed. He stood there for a second, looking at his friends. He slept at one end of the beds and Hilary was sleeping at the other end of the row, with everyone else sandwiched in between. It was him-Tyson-Kenny-Ray ... Kai?

No Kai. No surprises there, Max thought wryly. It make sense that even at night, Kai would keep himself apart. Yawning, he trudged over to the toilet.

Now that he was up, he didn't want to go back to bed. Maybe he would go down to the hotel reception and pay to go on one of the computers. With that in mind, he tip-toed back into their room and pulled a few dollars change from yesterday's trousers, scrambling sockless feet into his trainers as he did so. As he made for the door, Tyson gave a particularly loud snore. Hilary flailed at mid-air in her sleep and mumbled something vaguely murderous

He had to bite his lip to stop himself laughing out loud. Oh, you guys, he thought fondly.

It was a little bit spooky, making his way down dark corridors and shadowy staircases. Things kept flickering in the corner of his eye, and his footsteps sounded so loud! So while he was pleased that the reception desk was lit and manned, he was less pleased by the fact that it was at the far end of the big lobby. Ceiling to floor windows along the left-hand wall, where the entrance was, technically let in some light, but as it was a cloudy night they mainly just oozed the yellowy-orange glow from the streetlights outside. Enough to illuminate the two-seater sofas lined up along the window, but little more.

Don't be stupid, he scolded himself. You aren't Kenny! Encouraged, he strode out across the dim expanse of linoleum. His widely-spaced steps were a little too 'bold', but he was happy to blame that on wearing trainers without socks. It felt disgusting.

Seconds later, halfway across, he caught a glimpse of movement in his peripheral vision. Pretending his heart hadn't just started pounding a mile a minute, he turned to his left and squinted at the sofas. The grungy light made them look grubby and shadowy, and like everything else, more sinister than he was ever going to admit to anyone, ever. The flicker of movement came again and he corrected his line of vision to the furthest, darkest corner, the sofa basically right back at the stairs where he'd come from. He smiled despite himself. No mistaking the back of _that_ head. He'd found Kai.

Well, the lack of decent light meant that he could probably have mistaken him for the back of _Ray'_s head, had he not just seen Ray sleeping peacefully upstairs, but never mind. Self-deception continued to be a wonderful thing.

After a moment's hesitation (It's Kai. _Kai_. The personification of the word 'anti-social'. He'll bite my head off!), he clip-clopped back across the floor again. Damned trainers.

"Hi," he said uncertainly, sliding onto the opposite sofa to Kai, diagonally across from him. It meant that he couldn't lean against the glass, something that he liked doing, but somehow he felt that being directly opposite would be too close for Kai's liking.

"Mm." Kai looked at him briefly then shut his eyes and folded his arms. Encouraging. Not. He wasn't even in pyjamas, Max noticed. Fully clothed; yet he was sure he'd seen him undress and climb into bed four hours ago. When had he got up?

"Couldn't sleep?" he ventured. Then his brain caught up with his mouth and he winced. "Sorry. Obvious question, huh?" His voice sounded ridiculously loud.

The corner of Kai's mouth _might _have twitched, or it might have just been a car passing by and changing the shadows cast by the streetlights. Well, at least he wasn't telling him go away. Or, more Kai-like, getting up and going without a word.

As always when speaking to Kai, Max found his tongue all too eager to fill the gaps in conversation with stuff that made no sense. "I couldn't sleep. I mean, that's obvious too, but, yeah. Otherwise, you know, we'd both be asleep and dream-talking or something. That'd be cool."

Kai's eyebrows unmistakably rose. He's probably thinking I should shut up or start making sense, Max thought with an embarrassed smile. He's definitely got a point.

His mind snagged on something sensible and he seized it gratefully.

"I don't think I said this before. Too caught up with everything. Thanks for offering to take my place, you know. Against Alan."

"It's ok," Kai muttered. Max suppressed the urge to do something inappropriate and stupid, like cheer.

"Why _did_ you offer?" he asked instead. Kai shrugged.

"You'd have lost if you battled when you were zoned-out." He unfolded his arms and crossed his legs instead. "Not something you'd want lose, I'd imagine. That match."

"No-o." Max cursed the waver he couldn't keep out of his voice. Kai opened one eye and regarded him sternly. Max's mouth and tongue bypassed his brain again; "It's just ... oh, it's crazy. It's super-crazy, because we've sort of made up again anyway, like you know, but maybe if he'd won, he would have felt satisfied. Because there was this edge. Even when he was smiling at me before he went with the cop. He was still upset that he hadn't beaten me. He'd wanted to _so much_."

Both of Kai's eyes were open now, and as Max ordered himself to shut _up_, he frowned.

"So, what, if you could do it again, you'd throw the match?" His tone was on the milder side of scathing.

"No," Max answered immediately. He bit his lip. "Y-no. Maybe."

Kai snorted. "We should be glad you chose to wait 'til afterwards to be so dumb."

"Hey!" Max mumbled, trying to manufacture outrage and failing miserably.

"You losing would just have told him that the end was worth the means. Probably wouldn't have gone so quietly with the police if he was busy gloating, either. _That_ wouldn't have helped your friendship any."

"If he'd managed to summon his rock bit-beast, or if Mom and Dad hadn't upgraded Draciel, I'd probably have lost anyway," Max said in some half-hearted attempt at a defence of his thought process.

"Ok, now you really _are_ being stupid," Kai snapped. "How little faith ..." He trailed off and shook his head, turning his head away to look out of the window. "I shoulda fought in your place."

"No." Max drew his legs up onto the sofa, trainers and all, and rested his chin on his knees. He too directed his gaze out of the window. "I was ok when I was battling him. It's just difficult, you know? He was my best friend two years ago." He heaved sigh. The sight of the cars whizzing past was almost hypnotic, yet he still didn't feel all that sleepy. A thought struck him so hard that he caught his breath. "Did you _want _to blade?"

Kai looked at him again, and it was probably Max's imagination but it looked like a cautious kind of look. He made no answer.

"Because," Max continued nervously, "if you'd really wanted to, you should have said! I mean, I know you said you'd be more than happy to take over from me, but I thought that was just to convince me."

"It's fine." Kai's answer was almost too quiet to be heard. Max's tongue continued merrily spooling out the thoughts running through his mind.

"I just remembered that, well, I mean, you haven't battled since Cyber Dranzer, and I know that was ..." He failed to find an adequate word. "That it was a hard fight for you."

Kai snorted again, folding his arms again and shifting his position so that he was half sitting on his bent legs. He looked like he was trying to make himself as small as possible, Max realised. Common sense told him that he should probably stop this topic of conversation really quickly, but he'd never been great at listening to that.

"You know," he whispered, "with Wyatt and everything."

Kai could have been a statue of himself for all the reaction he showed. Max licked his lips. His heart was pounding again. "What _happened_?" he asked, and this time it was his turn to speak on the sharp edge of audibility. "When you went with him in the ambulance. It ... wasn't just exhaustion, was it?"

Silence. Immobility. Not a flicker in Kai's eyes or the set of his face; but the tension was suddenly building and building, twisting tighter and tighter until Max half wanted to flee. Make that more than half. Just as he was about to stammer out an apology and make an exit that hopefully didn't look too much like running, Kai moved. To be precise, he scratched his cheek, but Max knew a nervous tic when he saw one. Only when his chest ached did he remember to breathe again.

"He went nuts," Kai said at last. Contrary to his and Max's previous whispers, he spoke at a daytime volume, the consonants clicking harshly on his tongue. Though he was still staring resolutely out the window, his eyes were narrowed.

Max didn't say a word. He didn't know what to say that didn't sound ghoulish, because all he could think was "What do you mean?" and other things meant to persuade Kai to continue. Curiosity was an insensitive beast.

In the end, his frozen patience was rewarded. Kai crossed his arms even more tightly and continued, "I don't mean that in the way Tyson'd use it. Or you. I mean the power of the cyber bit-beast drove him _completely out of his mind_. A psychotic break, the doctors called it." He visibly swallowed. "They didn't say whether it would improve."

Max's stomach shrank into a tight, cold ball. He'd never heard of anything like that before. Sure, the cyber bit-beasts had affected Jim, Kane, Salima and Goki's minds, but they had seemed fine as soon as that influence was removed. Maybe it was closer to what Bryan had done to Ray - except that hadn't seemed to have really lasting effects either.

"Oh," he mumbled, pulling anxiously at his pyjama trousers. "That's ..._ awful_."

Kai nodded. Max thought absentmindedly how strange it was to be having this conversation with Kai of all people. It was the dark, he thought, and the fact that there was no-one around and they weren't looking at each other. It made it easier to just ... talk. Another thought spilled unchecked from Max's mouth.

"But you managed to beat Goki, didn't you?" The blazing look Kai sent pushed him back against the cushions in fear.

"Oh, that fixed everything, didn't it?" His voice echoed.

"Sorry!" Max squeaked immediately, going so far as to childishly bury his face in his knees for a moment. Kai grunted. Max could feel his face heating up. "That's why you couldn't sleep, then." He intoned it as a statement, not yet another stupid question.

"Mm." Kai was back to looking out the window.

Max rocked backwards and forwards on the soft seat. "Do you ... do you do this a lot? Not sleeping."

Kai inclined his head to the left, a gesture that could have meant anything, if it wasn't for the fact that Max knew the one thing Kai would never say out loud was 'yes' to that question.

"Will you 'do this a lot'?" Kai mocked in return. Max chuckled in acknowledgement of the jibe.

"In bits," he said frankly. His previous bitter thoughts came back to him. "I'm sure whenever I get big-headed, this'll pop up and remind me that I only beat my childhood friend because I had a bit-beast and a fancy blade, but he still thinks I'm some sort of amazing world champion which is _so_ wrong-"

"Enough," Kai muttered, rubbing his hand hard enough over his face to squish his nose momentarily out of shape.

"Huh?"

"I'm not massaging your ego. If you're idiotic enough to not see how good a blader you are, that's your lookout. Stop going on about it."

"I haven't gone on about it!" Max retorted, hurt throbbing into life in his chest.

"Twice is enough," Kai said darkly.

"That's unfair!" Max blurted out. "After I-"

"After you what?" Kai turned to glare at him, and the intensity in his grey eyes made Max cower away again. "After you dug until you got me to tell you something I wouldn't normally, you think that entitles you to whine about how bad a blader you are?"

Max bit back the angry, boiling mess in his chest with difficulty, but he managed it, because he swore he'd seen a suspicious glimmer in Kai's eyes. And in that case, Kai was just lashing out to spread the hurt. He knew about that. Tyson was good at it. So was his mom. He still couldn't resist mumbling,

"I wasn't _whining_."

"Sounded like it," Kai snarled. Any second now, Max expected him to stalk off with a dramatic swish, but as the tense seconds ticked past, he didn't move. Finally Kai sighed and said, "Ray knows what I told you, but tell the others and I'll snap Draciel's chip." There was no threat in his voice; he just sounded dead tired all of a sudden. That scared Max more than a little.

"I won't tell. You don't need to make threats," he assured.

"It wasn't a threat," Kai muttered. "It was a promise."

"Ok." Max returned to watching the cars zip past, fighting the urge to watch Kai out of the corner of his eye. Soon, he felt his eyelids start to lurch inexorably downwards. "It's a miracle," he murmured. He swung his legs down to the floor, wincing as they protested at being unfolded. "Going to bed now," he told Kai. Kai nodded without taking his eyes away from the window. "I'm sorry for," he hesitated to find the right words, "making you say and hear things you didn't want to."

"It's ok," Kai said, just the same as he had at the beginning of their conversation.

Max stood up.

He knew he'd gone completely loopy when he processed the impulse that next came into his head, but he went with it anyway. It seemed to be that kind of night.

"Please don't kill me," he said in a rush. Kai looked up and raised his eyebrows. His eyes widened in utter shock though, as Max stepped over to him, bent down and hugged him tightly.

It was uncomfortable; Kai's elbows jabbed into Max's ribs and it was at a very awkward angle, but he squeezed nonetheless. He wasn't usually a huggy person; it was Kenny who liked giving hugs and Hilary who was generally the only one prepared to receive them. But he just felt that Kai needed it. Was that crazy? Probably. This whole conversation had been crazy. Tomorrow he would definitely think he'd dreamt it.

Kai didn't throw him off as he had been expecting (he was half-expecting a punch to the face really); he didn't even flinch. He just sat there, and it might have been Max's imagination but just before he let go he thought he might have felt Kai relax. Just a fraction.

They didn't make eye contact; didn't say another word. Max walked back over to the stairs and trudged on up. When he was lying in bed, listening to the familiar sounds of the sleeping bodies around him, a little of the melancholy crept back but he shoved it away. It could have been so much worse, he thought firmly. And I _am_ world championship standard.

He lay awake a little while longer, wondering if Kai would come upstairs. In the end, however, he couldn't tell whether the sudden noise in the room was Kai or one of those weird, half-real dreams one got at the very edge of sleep.

When he woke the following morning, he had mostly convinced himself that nothing had actually happened, until Ray came up to him and said with a puzzled expression,

"Kai says to tell you that he got three hours' sleep last night."

Max grinned. He heard the silent thanks at the end of that sentence, and he fancied that Ray had an inkling too. "Tell him I got four."

* * *

All opinions welcome. :D Thanks for reading!

Oh, and the title? Google it. xD It's a reference to how Max is convinced he's sort of dreaming the whole thing.

xIlbx


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